oooh god i want to die sooo bad... such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am..... not fair, NOT FAIR!!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it... let's sum up my life... the most miserable existence in the history of time.... My best friend has ditched me forever, lost in bettering himself, & having/enjoying/ taking for granted his love.... Ive NEVER knew this... not 100 times near this... they look at me [edited] like i'm a stranger;... I helped them both out thru life, & they left me in the abyss of suffering when i gave them the boost out. The one who I thought was my true love, [edited], is not. Just a shell of what I want the most... The meanest trick was played on me - a fake love... She in reality doesn't give a good fuck about me... doesn't even know me..... I have no happiness, no ambitions, no friends, & no LOVE!!! [Edited] can get me that gun I hope, I wanna use it on a poor S.O.B. I know... his name is vodka, dylan is his name too. What else can I do/give... i stopped the pornography. I try not to pick on people. Obviously at least one power is against me. [edited]... funny how Ive been thinking about her over the last few days... giving myself fake realities that she, others MIGHT have liked me just a bit.... my bad... I have always been hated, by everyone & everything, just never aware.... Goodbye all the crushes ive ever had, just shells.... images, no tu truths... BUT WHY? YeS, You can read this, why did god [incoherent scrawl]
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