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Eric Harris's Journals
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Eric's online rantings began as early as 1996, that I've been able to trace. You can find mirrors of his websites, from rants to lyrics and even his Doom II site here, offered as they were found online. His physical journal begins April 1998, and in it he wrote about how he hated the world. His writings explained that he and V (Dylan Klebold) were different because they had self-awareness (read the rant). He wrote, "I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts, but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill whoever I deem unfit..." He documented that he wanted revenge against anyone who he perceived had ever wronged him. At some point early on during the journal Eric complains vehemently about being unable to steal from the van he and Dylan broke into Jan. 30, 1998. Read an excerpt here.
April 26 1998: Eric details out how he thinks society could be improved by boosting natural selection. He details out initial plans for how he and V would carry out this boosting, complete with a short weapons detail and tactics disclosure. It's a rough fantasy-rant but a foundation for further mayhem. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here, where he suggests crashing a plane in NYC.
October 1998: Eric writes that someone is bound to ask, "What were they thinking?" He answered, "I want to burn the world, I want to kill everyone except about 5 people...if we get busted any time, we start killing then and there...I ain’t going out without a fight."
November 1998: Eric writes in detail about how he wants to have violent sex with a woman, quoting a line from Nine Inch Nails' song Closer (a song about having rough, animalistic sex). This heated entry dissolves into a gory description of how he would like to taste human flesh. The cannibalistic rant eventually wraps around to school where Eric shifts his attention from a woman to a freshman, going on in vivid detail about the twisted, violent things he'd like to do.
After this entry another lengthy entry talks about picking up guns with the help of "someone I won't name" who later turned out to be Robyn Anderson, an old friend of Dylan's. He specifies weapons that were used at Columbine, gleefully explaining that they've reached the "point of no return" and how this is what he wants to do with his life.
December 1998: Eric writes that he would have made a good Marine, that "it would have given me a reason to be good." It's hard to say whether he wanted to be a marine because his father was in the military, because he admired the outfit or because he thought it would be an 'easy' way to learn how to kill people legally. He *did* apply for enlistment in the Marine Corps but the medication he was prescribed for anger management (Luvox) disqualified him. He also wrote, at one point, an essay about managing anger.
There was only one journal entry for all of 1999 and in it Eric evaluated his and Dylan’s preparations and munitions. He ended it with: "I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things." As with the videos he made, in his writings he excused his family of blame in what he was planning to do. "It’s my fault! Not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends, not my favorite bands, not computer games, not the media, it’s mine." In another entry he wrote, "I’m full of hate and I love it." Read an excerpt here.
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In Dylan’s 1998 yearbook Eric wrote, "God I can’t wait till they die. I can taste the blood now - NBK" It's believed from other reference of NBK in both gunmen's writings that NBK stood for Natural Born Killers, a gorey movie about a senseless killing spree. He went on: "You know what I hate? .....MANKIND!!!!...kill everything...kill everything..." He also drew a gunman standing amongst a sea of dead bodies with a caption quoted from KMFDM's 'Dogma', "The only reason your still alive is because someone has decided to let you live."
He wrote in his own '98 yearbook as well, writing on the photographs of almost every student things like "worthless", "die", and "beat." Further in he simply put X’s over the students he didn't like. Very few photos were unmarked. In his 1998/1999 academic day planner were lists of things to buy and "things left to do." On the page for Mother’s Day 1999 Harris quoted Shakespeare: "Good wombs hath born bad sons.".
Eric had Creative Writing class for 4th period, along with Dylan. According to the written statement (see pages 1, 2) his teacher Judith Kelly gave to investigators after the shootings, Eric never missed this class... Till 4-20-99, anyway. She mentioned that Eric made 'machine gun gestures' often and wrote stories about the Marines.
A short time after 4-20 police received an email that claimed to be a suicide note written by Eric. It wasn't the only hoax letter they received, though all were proven over time to have been patently false.
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5:00 Get-up
6:00 meet at KS
7:00 go to Reb’s house
7:15 he leaves to fill propane
I leave to fill gas
8:30 Meet back at his house
9:00 made d. bag set up car
9:30 practice gearups
Chill . . .
10:30 set up 4 things
11: go to school
11:10 set up duffel bags
11:12 wait near cars, gear up
11:16 HAHAHA
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| A page from Eric's weekly planner shows a diagram of a figure showing how ammo would be worn (drawn over the April 20, 1999 day) and next to it is a list of munitions. His day planner has one entry for April 20, 1999, written in Dylan's handwriting, shown right. |
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